Are you tired of that stud expecting to get lucky just because he let you lick the peanut butter out of his Kong?
You're not looking for lots of dates, just better ones. Take our relationship questionnaire below and we'll help you find the most promising matches, based on your goals, dreams and American Kennel Club classification.
General information
Name:
License #:
Microchip # Implanted in Your Skull:
Level of education completed: (please choose one of the following)
* Obedience school
* Obedience school GED
* Wee-wee pad trained
* Sit, Stay, Roll Over
* I don't fetch for The Man
What is your ethnicity?
* Purebreed
* Mixed Breed
* "Designer Dog", i.e. Labradoodle, Puggle, Cock-a-tzu, Eskapoo, etc.
* "Hybrid", i.e. any breed mixed with other household pet whose cage door was unfortunately left open, i.e. Guinea Pog, GoldenRetrieverFish, Beagle Bunny, French BullFerret, Iguanador, Potbellied Pug
How would you describe yourself to a potential mate (please choose one)?
* Cold nose, warm heart.
* I think outside the bowl.
* I think it's important to take the time to stop and smell the butts.
* They named the "Field Dog Stud Book" after me.
* I am a Bitch because I am a female dog of puppybearing age.
* I am a Bitch because I am a Bitch.
Please rate how strongly you agree or disagree with the following relationship statements:
* I am looking for a long-term relationship that will lead to litters.
* Just because we've "tied" doesn't mean we've got to be tied up.
* Mi doghouse es su doghouse.
* I heart humping.
* A dingo ate my baby, but I still love him.
How well do the following words describe your physical appearance?
* Fluffy
* Spotty
* Weinery
* Walking dustmop
* Docked ears, docked tail, docked dangling dewclaws
* Looks hot in a thundershirt
My free time interests include:
* Sleeping
* Eating
* Sleeping and eating
* Barking at passing strangers, dogs, bicycles, insects, dust and sunbeams
* Chasing that thing on my butt
* Shedding
* Howling hysterically for the entire eight hours that my best friend is at work
* Sampling the hors d'ouevres in the cat box
Important characteristics in a potential partner (please choose as many as apply):
* Commitment to personal upkeep (bathes yearly, eats Milk Bones after engaging in coprophagia, anal sacs properly expressed, FURminated)
* Commitment to emotional honesty (Just admit those are Neuticles, dude)
* Commitment to personal growth (would be open to input from Cesar Millan or Victoria Stilwell)
* Commitment to personal integrity (will chew proper chew toys, not the remote control or house guests)
* Commitment to modogamy (No, it's not adorable that every puppy in the neighborhood looks like you)
CONGRATULATIONS! You have completed your relationship questionnaire! Using your answers, we will now put you in touch with singles that best match your profile! Who will be your bowlmate?
Mary Elizabeth, Los Angeles, CA
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Edward: photo credit: faster panda kill kill via photo pin cc
Tiffany: photo credit: whatsnextonline via photo pin cc
Alberto: photo credit: la jul via photo pin cc
Mary Elizabeth: photo credit: Ula Gillion via photo pin cc
















