Earth Mother just means I'm dusty

Be As Smart As You Can.com

Apparently, The Pistol wants to launch her own website.

I came home from a work function to this on my table and was, all at once, delighted, impressed, taken aback and thoughtful. And I tried to figure out how she cooked it up in her little convection oven of a brain.

Here are the factors I think led to this creation:

1. Do Your Best. I always try to drum into my kids that they don't have to be THE best, but they should always try to be THEIR best. "Whole-hearted" and "give it your all" is my mantra. I genuinely believe that since God made every single person to be completely unique, all he asks is that we do our best to be 100% the person he designed. Be as smart as you can, and no smarter.

2. There is such a thing as a Smart potion. As you can see, the animal in the middle is handing out potions to the two participants (I'm assuming the wickedly happy one on the left is The Smarter, a.k.a. The Pistol). She is in a scientific phase, constantly making potions out of dish soap, boogers and orange juice and the like, and insisting that they will solve all your problems. The grumpy animal on the right obviously got the booger potion that makes you dumber.

3. I am not on the computer too much, shut up. Lately everything has been www.this and www.that, which can only mean that she's emulating someone. Thank God I know it's not me, because I never ever ever try to squeeze some work in when they're home from school so that they are watching too much Spongebob and eating junk food and lighting matches and sticking forks in the electrical sockets and calling 911 to say that their mother is paralyzed by a small white box with an Apple on it so I don't know where this is coming from, so shut.up.

*************************************************************

I'm over on Aiming Low today, telling the very sad and very true tale of the time my dog pooped in my hair. Come on over and enjoy!

I'm Giving Away An iPad2. Fo Rizzle.

Oh sure, there's a hurricane about to hit the East Coast and my town is being evacuated by the mayor, but the REALLY big news is that I'm giving away an Apple iPad2 32GB!

(It's all about perspective, people.)

This marvy event is taking place because Vonage is promoting their great new app, Time To Call. This app can be downloaded for FREE onto your iPhone, iPad or iTouch with a super-easy 60 second set-up, and used to make low-cost international calls of up to fifteen minutes to over 190 countries. Landline or mobile phones, no less! How about it! Here's more information:

• Pay per call and talk for up to 15 minutes to 100 countries for $1.99 or less (excluding applicable taxes)
• For an additional 90+ countries, talk up to 15-minutes for $2.99 to $9.99 (excluding applicable taxes)
• Bill directly to your iTunes account
• Works on Wi-Fi® worldwide
• Also for use on high quality 3G networks in the U.S. and Canada
• Unused minutes can be used for additional calls
• No need to be a Vonage home customer, no hidden fees or monthly commitment

And for a limited time, you can download the app and get your first fifteen minute call for free! Check that out here.

I did test this app out myself. I called another blogger, natch. The lovely Lady Jennie of A Lady in France, who is going to be my houseguest for BlogHer '12, provided she can handle my non-air-conditioned home. (Those French are so soft, n'est ce pas?)

At first I couldn't get through and I got a bit nervous, but it turned out that when Lady Jennie gave me her phone number, she was thinking in French and mixed up the digits. (see Frog comment above)

Once that was cleared up, presto! I was on the horn with France*. Thanks, Time to Call!

*disclaimer: You all know that I don't have a fancypants iPhone of my own, but my best friend Kim let me use hers. But fear not, the Android version of Time to Call is coming later this year! Soon I will be fancy too!

And now it's your turn. Vonage will be giving away a gift card for an Apple iPad2 32GB to one of my readers. You will receive one (1) entry for doing any of the following:

1. Leave a comment here saying who you would call abroad and why. I personally would call Ireland and say "Blood sausage? Really?"

2. Tweet a link to this contest with both @dustyearthmom and a #timetocall hashtag and then leave a  comment here with a link to your tweet.

3. Download the app at the Vonage page: bitly.com/pKXNj6 and leave me a comment saying that you tried it out and Holy Dialing Finger, Batman, was it easy to use!

4. Subscribe to "Earth Mother just means I'm dusty" and leave a comment saying that you did. And I'm telling you right now, even if you don't win, your subscription will bring you so much sunshine and daisies and laughter that you won't even remember the contest. iPad2? What iPad2?

So you can get an entry for each of these. Do one and get one entry. Do two and get two entries.  Do three and, yeah, yeah, you got it from there, right?

And on the off chance that you read other blogs besides mine (which hurts me deeply, but we'll talk about that later when we're alone), there are a number of other contests running and you can enter any of them. Find them all here.

Just know that you if you win in one of these websites, you are unable to win again in the whole competition. I know that winning not only one, but two of these puppies is a long shot, but crazy things happen. Like a hurricane in New York City.

And while this will not get you an entry in the contest, poke around a bit while you're here and if you decide that you like me, then go here and Like me on Facebook . Because, really, why wouldn't you Like me? I'm a swell girl. And I'm giving one of you an iPad2, after all. Sheesh.

This contest is officially CLOSED. Tune back in tomorrow, September 1, for a winner!

Links:

Vonage page: bitly.com/pKXNj6

iTunes page: http://bitly.com/r6YMh7